Pants Off Now
by dreamer.at.heart
Summary: "It's a dress." The debate over Gaara's state of dress causes him to want his girlfriend to remove her pants. M for dirty jokes. :D NOT A LEMON.


Theme 47: Pants

NOTE: This is kind of dirty. Not sexual, but small children be warned.

* * *

"It's a dress." Naruto pointed out, using his chopsticks to poke at the Kazekage's robes.

"It's a robe, Naruto." Sasuke rolled his darker-than-black eyes.

"It's a _dress._" Naruto repeated himself.

Gaara sighed and briefly wondered why he decided to come on this awful outing in the first place.

Oh, right. Because Hinata was busy.

Gaara had come to Konoha for a meeting with Tsunade, and of course, had been using his spare time to be with his girlfriend of a year. But tonight, Hinata had been kidnapped by that wretched pink-haired girl and her blonde partner in crime. Even his own sister decided to take part in some sort of barbaric tradition called a 'Girl's Night Out'. Apparently it consisted of the destruction of pillows and the passing of rumors.

Gaara didn't really see what the big deal was. He and Hinata destroyed pillows all the time, but he didn't want her doing what had resulted in the said destruction with a bunch of girls, particularly his sister.

But Naruto and the rest of the Konoha boys had dragged Gaara on what they called a 'Guy's Night Out'.

Which was actually just what they usually did together-sitting at a bar, drinking sake and complaining about their girlfriends/bragging about their sexual prowess.

Though right now, the topic was Gaara's outfit. According to Naruto, Gaara was making himself look much more feminine by wearing a "dress", especially when Hinata was the only kunochi who wore pants and a jacket.

"I mean, you're already kinda pretty, Gaara," Naruto added, taking a long drink from his sake bottle.

"You and Sai and Sasuke all look girly-that's why girls love you so much. But when you add a dress…" He shrugged. "Makes you look kinda gay."

"And what is wrong with that?" Shino asked, a note of danger in his voice. Naruto swallowed, knowing that underneath the table both Shino and his boyfriend were probably playing footsie anyway. He and Kiba didn't really balk at the idea of a public relationship.

"A-ah, nothing, nothing at all!" He exclaimed. "But Gaara has a girlfriend, and a really, _really _hot one at that. Wouldn't it suck if she thought he might be gay? She would break up with him or something! Girls hate the thought that they might be broken up with for another guy."

That got Gaara's attention, and he glanced down at his robes. It would crush him if Hinata ever broke up with him, especially for such a ridiculous reason.

"It protects my skin from the harsh Suna weather." Gaara automatically defended his state of dress anyway. It was true after all, and Gaara was even worse about it since his skin was so pale.

"And besides, I highly doubt Hinata believes me to be gay. Otherwise, she would not be so willing to make lo-"

"Please refrain from speaking about my cousin in any sexual manner," Neji interrupted through gritted teeth. "I do not need those mental images."

"Ooo, is Neji into incest?" Naruto teased.

Neji promptly kicked Naruto in the shin with a chakra enhanced kick, which caused the Uzumaki to fall from his chair, whimpering and clutching his already swelling leg.

"That's disgusting." Both Neji and Gaara spoke at the same time. (When Gaara had first began dating Hinata, the Hyuuga elders had tried to marry Hinata off to Neji immediately. It had been a scarring event for all concerned.)

"You didn't need to kick me so damn hard." Naruto complained as he slid back into his seat, rubbing his injured leg. Then he turned his mischevious grin on Gaara. "Well, why don't you go home tonight and ask her?" He suggested. "I bet you ten bucks she says it looks like a dress."

Gaara rolled his eyes and began to stand up. "It does not look like a dress. I'll take your bet. Goodnight, everyone." Then he turned and left the bar, Naruto letting out a long laugh as he did.

* * *

"Hinata?" Gaara slid his key into his hotel room door and quietly went inside, shutting the door behind him as he did. The door made a small 'click' and he began to take his vest off as he entered the bedroom.

"Oh, hello Gaara." Hinata smiled up at him as she took her jacket off and slung it over a random chair. "How was your night?"

"Naruto is a loser. Why am I friends with him?" Gaara asked as he quickly made his way over to his beautiful girlfriend, wrapping his arms around her waist once he reached her. He pressed his lips to her own and she slid her arms around his neck, letting out a contented sigh when they parted. She sat down on the bed and kicked off her shoes while he set his gourd down by the bedside.

"He changed you, remember?" Hinata said with a small giggle. "What did he do this time?"

That brought back the whole conversation, and Gaara narrowed his eyes at the sight of Hinata's navy pants.

"Pants. Off. Now." He demanded.

"Eh?" Hinata flushed red, and her eyes widened. "My pants? G-Gaara, if you-"

"You need to wear something girly." He continued. "Or you will think I dress like a girl and am gay."

Hinata stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing.

"S-so because I we-wear pants and you d-don't that makes y-you gay?" Hinata stuttered out, trying to breath through her laughter. "Oh, Gaara…"

She stood up and slid her hands over Gaara's chest, pulling down the zipper as she went so that she could slip her hands through the fabric and then finger the holes on his fishnet shirt.

"If you didn't wear a robe, undressing you wouldn't be so much fun." She whispered into his ear while she helped him out of his deep red robe.

And while he further proved that Gaara was not, in fact, gay, he thought of one last thing before he lost himself in Hinata's pure lavender eyes.

Naruto owed him ten bucks.

* * *

END.

-Dreamer


End file.
